THE LAMA

The one-l lama, he's a priest.
The two-l llama, he's a beast.
And I will bet a silk pajama
There isn't any three-l lllama.

~Ogden Nash



THE HORNY-GOLOCH

The horny-goloch is an awesome beast,
Soople and scaly;
It has twa horns, and a hantle o' feet,
And a forky tailie.

~unknown



NOT ME

The slithergadee has crawled out of the sea.
He may catch all the others, but he won't catch me!
No you won't catch me, old slithergadee,
You may catch all the others but you wo--

~Shel Silverstein



WARNING

When I am an old lady I shall wear purple
With a red hat, which doesn't go and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves,
And satin sandals, and say we have no money for butter.
And I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
And I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.
And I shall wear terrible shirts and grow fat
And hoard pens and pencils and things in boxes.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple.

~Jenny Joseph

WARNING #2

When I am an old man I shall wear pink
With maroon checked pants that do not fit
And I shall spend my pension on neckties and argyle socks
And fuzzy dice, and say we have no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
And I shall collect dozens of emblem caps
And run my cane along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And bring in other people's newspapers
And learn to whittle.
I shall wear suspenders and a belt and grow more fat
And hoard screws and bolts and things in boxes
And miscellaneous pieces of wood.
But perhaps I should practice a little now
So people who know me are not too shocked or surprised
When suddenly I am old and start to wear pink.

~T. Balden



OLD ACQUAINTANCE

"My dear!" with incredulity
She gasps. "It can't remotely be
Some twenty years since we have met,
You look so chic and youthful yet!"
And I with awesome voice proclaim
How she's the one who looks the same.
And as we talk of old adventures,
We both are lying through our dentures.

~Jean Carpenter Mergard



THE COMPANY ONE KEEPS

One night in late October,
When I was far from sober,
Returning with my load with manly pride,
My feet began to stutter
So I lay down in the gutter,
And a pig came near and lay down by my side.

A lady passing by was then heard plain to say,
"You can tell a man who boozes
By the company he chooses,"
At which the pig got up and slowly walked away.

~unknown



ACROSS THE ROAD

In that new house across the road,
The shades are up, the grass is mowed.
Which seems to prove somebody new
Has come to live. I wonder who?
I hope they've got a boy like me,
Who likes to wade and climb a tree.
I'll show him all the things we do:
The meadow-fence where we climb through,
And where we built a dam one day,
And where the small quick-minnows play.
And where we hike the old mill wall
(And how to step and not to fall.)

If it's a girl ----!
Oh well, we might
Play hide and seek
If she's alright.

~Barbara A. Jones



This is the grave of Mike O'Day
Who died maintaining his right of way.
His right was clear and his will was strong,
But he's just as dead as if he'd been wrong.

~unknown



THE PERFECT HUSBAND

He tells you when you've got on
too much lipstick,
And helps you with your girdle
when your hipstick.

~Ogden Nash



FANCY DIVE

The fanciest dive that ever was dove
Was done by Melissa of Coconut Grove.
She bounced on the board and flew into the air
With a twist of her head and a twirl of her hair.
She did thirty-four jackknives, back-flipped and spun,
Quadruple gainered and reached for the sun,
And then somersaulted nine times and a quarter ~
And looked down and saw that the pool had no water.

~Shel Silverstein



PRAYER OF THE SELFISH CHILD

Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
And if I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my toys to break.
So none of the other kids can use 'em.
Amen.

~Shel Silverstein



~"Dreaming of Spring"~

an original composition by
Bruce DeBoer
Copyright, 1999